Now I Get It

Today I am `home alone.' In my quiet nest I am thinking about how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to be taking care of my 11 year old grandson for the 8th summer. When I was a child I lived with my grandparents every summer from the time I was an infant? It wasn't until today that I made the connection between the experience of living with my grandparents and my grandson living with us. My grandmother was an early day entrepreneur. She was the town seamstress and had a huge garden where she grew flowers and harvested/arranged/sold them for weddings and funerals etc. As a modern day entrepreneur with a child in my house I find myself a little frustrated not being able to work all summer like I have the previous seasons. After all like my grandmother, if I don't run my business, who will? I have been getting up at 5AM in hopes of having a few hours to myself. Finally after 3 short weeks, yesterday I became paralyzed with exhaustion. In my disappointment in myself for resting much of the day, I apologized to my grandson for not playing with him. He looked at me and said `it's OK Gram, I'd rather you rest.' I realize now how much my grandmother rested each day. She never apologized for it, she just did it. She got up early, stayed up late and took power naps during the day. And yet when we left to go back home for school she would stand in the driveway and weep as she waved goodbye.

Today the men in my house (4 males including the dog) have all gone fishing. I was up with them to make them breakfast, pack a little something to eat in the boat and was back in bed before they left. I heard little footsteps running up the stairs and my grandson grabbed something in his room that he needed, and paused at my bedroom door. `Bye Gram, I love you.'

Now I get it.